Family is a social system that is interdependent with one another. They provide insight into how each member should function. Any change of behavior of a family member alters interaction and communication (Atwater,1998; Blau et.al, 2008).
Helicopter parenting produces negative social, psychological, emotional, and behavioral outcomes because they practice psychological control and deprivation of autonomy but it can effectively redress by granting autonomy and practicing positive parenting programs to create a better community.
Parents set standards of family context. They establish rules to have a cohesive family. They are both their children’s coach and model because they act to direct their children on how to think and believe about specific situations, at the same time, they influence them by displaying their responses in different stimuli (Blau et.al, 2008).
Parenting is not an easy job because each child has different genetics, family dynamics, exposure, and experiences (Brook, J., 2006). They are diverse that the idea of multifinality, children with the same genes, environment, and life path may still be different from each other, and equifinality, children raised differently may still have the same personality (Blau et.al, 2008), must be taken into account.
Inevitably, children continuously develop, and as they mature, according to Freud Psychoanalytic Theory, they focus on gaining knowledge, intellectual, and social exercises. Greater idealism and the ability to handle abstract learning gradually allows children to do more and more (Perry et.al, 2012). Due to this fact, parents are obliged to adjust.
Parents manage their children differently by adopting different parenting styles. Parenting styles are ways how parents show attitude and behavior that sets standards of their interaction with their children (Deloache et.al, 2008). Diana Baumrind (1966) develops a study of different parenting styles called “Parenting Styles and Theory” which are the following
- Authoritarian;
- Authoritative; and
- Permissive.
Authoritarian parenting style is low in response but high in demand. Parents have high control over their children that they expect them to obey always. They enforce their parental power by threats or punishments. Authoritarian parenting tends to produce children with low social and academic confidence resulting in unhappiness (Deloache et.al, 2006).
Authoritative parenting is both high in demand and response. Authoritative parents give autonomy to their children but set clear standards and limits. They practice the following:
- Open communication inside their family so that children may be engaged in a calm conversation and logical reasoning (Deloache et.al, 2006);
- They rule by example and are models that greatly values a child’s autonomy, time, and obedience (Blau et.al 2008); and
- Give an extreme amount of emotional support to their children (Odenweller et.al, 2014).
Studies show that authoritative parenting produces children to be more socially assertive and with a high level of self-control. They are self-assured and as they mature, they tend to be high in academic and social competence. They are independent and can easily adjust to new surroundings. A low chance of engaging with vices or behavior problems is expected to them (Deloache et.al, 2006).
Lastly, Permissive parenting is a passive style wherein parents doesn’t have high expectation with their flawless child (Blau et.al, 2008). Deloache et.al (2006) described permissive parents as those who have low demand and response to their children. They neither set limits on their children nor monitor their actions.
Permissive parents are more focused on their own life and are lenient with their children. According to Segrin et.al (2012) permissive parents, just like with authoritarian parents, both shelters their children from problems that they might encounter (Odenweller et.al, 2014).
Maccoby and Martin (1983) divide permissive into two parts namely, Indulgent and Neglectful. Permissive neglectful parents have minimal parental control and support to their children while permissive indulgent have those parents who greatly support their children but with minimum power over them (Blau et.al, 2008). As a result
- Children tend to be impulsive and low in self-control;
- They have low achievement in school and have anti-social behavior; and
- They tend to keep their own problems that lead to problematic behavior such as recreational substance abuse and engaging in promiscuous sexual behavior (Deloache,2006).
On year 1990, Helicopter Parenting was coined by Cline and Fay and it was mainstreamed by an article of Newsweek (Zeman, 1991 in Odenweller et.al, 2014). This new type of parenting style came from the influence of media on how they portray our environment as dangerous (Sclafani,2012).
Helicopter parents’ tendency is to hover their children. Helicopter parenting is an over-involved parenting style that is focused on being engaged parents for their child’s success.
Parent’s level of engagement does not decrease over time even if a child enters adolescence (Couture et.al, 2017). Helicopter parents according to Somers and Settle (2010) have five (5) primary types namely:
- consumer advocate;
- fairness;
- vicarious college students;
- toxic; and
- safety patrol.
Over involved parents consider the school as a place where child mostly develop and as a consumer, they want to get their money’s worth and let their child experience the best that the school could offer. They want fairness inside their child’s classroom wherein he may be given the spotlight by his teachers and may be involved in every activity. They are most controlling and always consider the safety of their child. (Couture et.al, 2017).
As said by Pope-Edwards and Liu (2002), helicopter parents don’t give much reasoning that causes children negative outcomes (Odenweller et.al, 2014). Research linked helicopter parenting produces:
- children that use recreational medicines;
- low school participation, self-confidence, slow identity development; and
- high self-entitlement (Le Moyne et.al, 2011; Padilla-walker et.al, 2012; Segrin et.al, 2012 in Odenweller et.al, 2014).
Helicopter parents are intrusive and intense (Segrin et.al,2012 in Erchull et.al, 2014) which is detrimental to the development of their children’s psychosocial adjustment. External outcomes are evident such as “acting out” (Grolnick et.al, 2000 in Erchull et al, 2014). Generally, parents who are using this parenting style cause anxiety and low self-worth to their own children (van Ingen, 2015).
This parenting style is somehow similar to authoritarian parenting but it is unique that it controls the behavior of a child and focuses on limiting his autonomy regardless of his age (Reed et.al,2016).
It becomes more dreadful as helicopter parents let their children experience psychological control that constraints their expression. They manipulate and invalidates their emotional and psychological experience that produces delinquent behavior and depression (Deloache et.al, 2006).
According to a survey of Liftoff for “Helicopter” Parents (2007), 60% – 70% college students experience helicopter parenting (Odenweller et.al, 2014) and this is crucial because developmental disabilities cause them emotional and behavioral difficulties (Sanders, 2014) which affects creating skilled individuals that could help in making a happy and productive society. Three domains of children are greatly affected namely: social, emotional, and psychological.
Communication is very important for every family. Studies shows that normal adolescent came from families with good communication (Atwater 1998). High communication-oriented family makes the family environment more flexible and open (check these activity ideas you can do with your child ).
This makes children to be resilient, can easily adjust and adapt to the environment, and make their relationship stronger with other individuals (Fitzpatrick et.al 1996; Koesten et.al 2004; Fowler 2010 in Odenweller et.al, 2014).In addition, studies show that the practice of good conversation makes children have higher interpersonal competence and are comfortable in decision making(van Ingen et.al, 2015).
However, in helicopter parenting, parents speak for their children that results in them having lower students out of class communication. They are less likely to approach their teachers. They were raised not practicing good conversation that causes high conformity to their parents (Miller-Ott, 2016).
Based on Koerner and Fitzpatrick (2002) General Theory of Communication, to maintain a family’s cohesiveness, there should be high conformity orientation. It creates a rigid traditional family set up that results in children to be with poor mental health, easily stressed, and low self-esteem, (Schrodt et.al, 2007 in Odenweller et.al, 2014).
Also, a high risk of ineffective communication takes place wherein parent-child interactions are both defensive and negative. Superiority, judgemental, blaming, calling of names, and many more are reflected inside the interaction. This cause to lower self-esteem and isolation to each member of the family (Fischer, 1980 in Atwater, 1988).
Beeper Survey found that children reaching adolescence tend to spend more time with their peers than with their family because they seek out their peers for their personal problems such as joining clubs, social events, and the likes. They are influenced by their peers whom they compare with inabilities, characteristics, and creations as they establish their identity.
On the other hand, they only seek parental advice for major life decisions (Atwater, 1998). According to van Ingen et.al (2015), college students who can practice their autonomy inside their family are reported to have good peer relationships. However, with the nature of helicopter parenting, peer interaction and attachment of their children is expected to be poor because of low self- efficacy (van Ingen et.al, 2015).
The emotional aspect of children is greatly affected by Helicopter Parenting. Students who experience less autonomy have less satisfaction in life and a significantly higher level of depression. In addition, they tend to be more anxious and their value of perseverance is lesser (Gibbs, 2009; Levine, 2006; Marano 2008 in Erchull et.al, 2014).
Self-esteem, Self-concept, Self- efficacy, and body image are the things that makes a person to be positive of himself (Sclafani, 2012). Self- Esteem is how an individual sees his self-worth. Self-esteem is how he perceives himself based on his outward success and failures and how he builds a relationship with other individuals.
As children enter adolescence, self-esteem fluctuates but maybe boost up if parents show love and support to them, encourage them, and practice effective communication (Atwater 1998).
- Higher self-esteem gives comfort for a child to communicate with their teachers outside the classroom (Miller-Ott, 2016).
- High academic self-esteem leads to a willingness to accept more challenging tasks, make more relationship with peers, and willingness to be vocal for his group and persist in facing failures (Marsh et.,al,1985; Harter, 1982; Dipaula et.al, 2002 in Perry et.al, 2012).
Take note that high self-esteemed children with high narcissism, high sensitivity to rejection, and low empathy tends to react inappropriate and aggressively when their ego is threatened. They may be engaged in bullying and high behavior risks (Baumeister et al 2003; Costello et al 2003; Damon 1995 in Perry et.al, 2012).
On the other hand, college students or those who are entering adolescence period and experience helicopter parenting feels poorly because they feel that they don’t have enough ability to make an impact in their life (van Ingen et.al, 2015). Their self-esteem is diminishing and low self-esteem tends individual to have negative outcomes such as depression, academic failure, and behavioral outcomes (Perry et.al 2012).
Self- Efficacy is the belief of himself towards success. Secure attachment with parents cause to have increased self-efficacy for prosocial behavior (van Ingen, 2015). If children experience helicopter parenting style, they tend to be low in social attachments (van Ingen et.al, 2015)
Lastly, Self-Concept is the created mental picture of himself or his identity. According to Atwater (1998), self-concept is how a person perceives himself together with his beliefs, feelings, and values. As children develop, the more they become balanced and realistic with themselves. Through time, children will be able to distinguish between ideal and realistic selves (Perry et.al, 2012).
Individuals with positive self-concept are more assertive, sociable, and optimistic (Atwater, 1998). With the practice of helicopter parenting, children have a lower self-concept because they don’t have the autonomy to choose and build a strong foundation for their identity. They are usually shy, introverted, and pessimistic (Atwater 1998).
According to the study of the World Health Organization (2015), 20% of the children worldwide have behavioral problems (Pickering et.al, 2015). With all the negative outcomes of helicopter parenting, this is one of the causes that children develop social, emotional, and behavioral (SEB) problems.
According to Kantrowitz et al 2006, helicopter parenting outcomes may be changed to positive results if children were given more autonomy and responsibility (Odenweller, et.al, 2014). Higher education officials highlighted that parents must let go of their children and let them make their own decisions (Couture et.al,2017).
Parents must help their children have autonomy, both behavioral and emotional. Behavioral autonomy is to learn to make life decisions and to be responsible for its consequences while emotional autonomy is to rely on your inner reserves of self-esteem and self-confidence to make relationships with other individuals (Atwater, 1998).
Study shows that support from parents and granting autonomy to their children results to better social and emotional adaptation. In effect, less depression, anxiety, and behavioral problems (Grolnick et.al 1989; Kenney-Bensons et.al, 2005 in Erchull et.al, 2014).
Parents must not only grant autonomy but to give support as well. Supportive parents practice sympathy, worth, and raising reasoning points towards their children (Deloache et.al, 2006). They must be autonomy-supportive parents who are engaged with the life of their child and supports their independence that may have the ability to solve their own problems (Reed et.al 2016).
Grusec and Goodnow (1994) suggests that for a child to develop in a healthy manner, there must be a positive parenting he experiences in which his parents give freedom for him to make decisions but with issue-appropriate limits. Parents must encourage child’s internalization wherein they help other individuals for intrinsic rewards and satisfaction (Odenweller, et.al, 2014).
To further research and troubleshoot this nationwide problem of parenting, the government started shifting their focus to public health. Public health is an approach where it targets to seek intervention for a population level that would give meaningful change for parent and child outcomes (Sanders et.al, 2014).
Biglan et.al (2012) highlighted that parenting program is a part of the shift of focus towards public health wherein we prioritize in preventing behavioral, mental, and emotional problems (Pickering et.al, 2015).
Parenting program is advantageous to parents because based on studies, use of parenting strategies and confidence is boosted (Spot et. al 1998 in Pickering et.al, 2015).
According to a telephone survey of 4,010 Australian parents with children under the age of 12 years, 75% of them who weren’t able to attend a program for parenting have behavioral and emotional problems (Pickering et.al, 2015). Continuous study of parenting style was conducted to the extent of making Evidence-Based Parenting Clearinghouses” that consolidates all parenting programs available in a particular area (Pickering et.al, 2015).
One of the leading countries in researching for parenting styles, Australia evaluated and discovered 109 programs available for family, parent, and child outcomes (Wade et.al, 2012 in Pickering et.al, 2015). Of all available program for parenting, Triple P and Stepping Stones Triple P, a sister program of Triple P which is focused for children with autism, cerebral palsy, and the likes, are the most recommended and supported by Australian community (Pickering et.al, 2015)
Positive Parenting Program or commonly known as Triple P is developed by Sanders and his colleagues at the University of Queensland and it is based on the Australian setting that is within the framework of public health. This program was studied for 35 years and was verified by 101 meta-analysis studies that involved 16,000 families.
Sanders and his co-researchers created this program because they believe that the community will develop if there is a good practice of parenting. Triple P envisions for each family to practice warm, consistent, and responsive parenting that would produce low- conflict families (Pickering et.al, 2015). It is built with the idea of proportionate universalism (Marmot, 2010 in Pickering et.al, 2015) that is used both as prevention and intervention to create a community with happy and skilled individuals living for lifelong prosperity (Pickering et.al, 2015)
A study of 101 meta-analyses found that Triple P has a positive effect on children’s SEB outcomes and the more intense the level a parent is involved in, the greater the impact to them (Pickering et.al, 2015).
Triple P conducted in New South Wales according to Gaven and Schorer (2013) resulted in promising results of SEB (Social, emotional, and behavioral) improvements because 10% of the children moved from clinical to non-clinical range using Strengths and Difficulties Questionnaires. 90% of those who practice this program highly recommend Triple P.
Furthermore, It was implemented for 2 Irish Midlands families with children that have emotional, peer, hyperactivity, and behavior problems. As Triple P was used, studies shows, 29.7% of emotional problem, 30% conduct problems, 14% peer problems, 27% hyperactivity, and behavioral problems decreases. Because of the use of appropriate parenting strategy, good relationship and healthy environment was observed inside the community (Pickering et.al, 2015).
As Prinz et. al (2009) conducted a study for this program for 18 counties in South Carolina, he has proved that this parenting program is applicable and effective to high-level population which supports the claim of Sanders et.al(2014) that Triple P helped to lower behavioral problem by 22%, less coercive parenting by 32%, and depression and stress parents by 26%.
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Helicopter Parenting is a detrimental practice for children. The value of balanced love should be the center of every family.
As suggested by Atwater (1998) each party must pay attention to each other’s opinions and learn to recognize each other’s needs and feelings. Both parents and children must cooperate to create a harmonious family. Parents must let their children experience life and make decisions within reasonable limits and in return, children need to practice respect and take heart of their parents’ words and advice.
Attending a parenting program to enhance communication and awareness to different family problems is a healthy approach to prevent future problems. Happy and productive community starts with a healthy family.
References:
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Brooks, J. (2006). The Process of Parenting. USA: McGraw-Hill Higher Education
Couture R., Schwehm J., & Couture V. (2017). Helicopter Colleges: A Return To In Loco Parentis? College Student Journal Fall 2017, Vol 51 Issue 3, p398-406.
Deloache, J., Eisenberg, N., & Siegler, R. (2006). How Children Develop Second Edition. New York, NY: Worth Publishers
Erchull, M., Geary, K., et. al. (April 2014) Helping or Hovering? The Effects of Helicopter Parenting on College Students' Well-Being. Journal of Child and Family Studies Volume 23, Issue 3, pp 548 -557
Miller- Ott A. (April 2016). Helicopter Parenting, Family Communication Patterns, and Out-of-Class Communication with College Instructors. Communication Research Reports Volume 33 Issue 2, pp 173-176
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Sclafani, J. (2012). The Educated Parent 2 Child Rearing in the 21st Century. Santa Barbara, California: ABC-CLIO LLC
Van Ingen, D., Freiheit S., Roberts A., et al (2015). Helicopter Parenting: The Effect of an Overbearing Caregiving Style on Peer Attachment and Self- Efficacy. Journal of College Counseling Volume 18 Issue 1 p7
Atwater, E. (1988). Adolescence Third Edition. New Jersey, USA: Prentice- Hall. Inc
Odenweller, K.G., Booth-Butterfield, M., and Weber, K. (2014). Investigating Helicopter Parenting, Family Environments, and Relational Outcomes for Millenials, Communication Studies, 65 (4), pp 407-425
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Sanders, M.R., Kirby, J.N., Tellegen, C.L. & Day, J.J. (2014). The Triple P- Positive Parenting Program: A systematic review and meta-analysis of a multi-level system of parenting support. Clinical Psychology Review, (4) 337